Solemn Pastimes
by Spider9x
Summary: A surprisingly immature Hisoka wants more poker cards. Without delay. Spider centric


******Solemn Pastimes**

******Summary:** A suprisingly immature Hisoka wants more poker cards. Without delay. Spider centric

**Disclaimer: **All characters belong to Togashi Yoshihiro... and Hisoka's precious baby belongs to him ;)

-o-

One on top of the other, slowly and as much as possible, at an angle of 70. There is of course, room for mistakes, as these errors can easily be compensated by making adjustments accordingly when constructing next level.

'_Though,_' Hisoka muses, '_the amount of effort involved is considerably higher and one might as well correct the original inaccuracy,_' Hisoka giggles abit, he is starting to sound like a certain handphone welding Spider who is currently engaged in a game of Bridge with three other members.

Leaning back slightly, Hisoka admires his perfectly constructed card tower. Not yet completed but almost there, with the last two levels missing. '_My baby must, and will stand strong,_' Hisoka decides. Even on these dangerously uneven grounds of the latest Spider hideout. Even with rats and cockroaches scurrying about. At the peak of self indulgence, Hisoka fails to notice that even the bravest rat keeps a healthy half a mile distance away from the clown and his objects of interest. As do any other creatures sharing the deserted warehouse.

Hisoka hates trapeziums, angular and clumsy as they are, and that is the single flaw his construct has. He will transform his baby to a beautiful and sleek triangle at all cost.

Flicking his wrist only to grasp air, Hisoka realises with slight annoyance that he needs to open a new deck of cards and reaches into his attire for one.

None.

Checks his secret pockets for reserves.

They feel horrifying empty.

'_Mmhmhm~? My last performance must have depleted my supply more than I had intended to,' _It wasn't his fault that the last group of audience, or more accurately, unlucky nen users were more arousing than the usual ones. Hisoka had felt strongly for the need to impress and entertain them with extra flowery card techniques and tricks, placing more emphasis on frightening and torturing his prey rather than the actual act of killing.

Hisoka does not see much point in retrieving his cards, for what use were they, bloodied and unnaturally deeply embedded in flesh? To Hisoka, thrown cards are as good as married daughters, expecting anything more from them is useless. Though he might _just_ consider taking back the untainted ones from this day onwards, _just_ for emergency situations like this one. Just.

Certainly, there are ways out of this regretful state of matters. However, using materialised nen cards takes the fun out of the stacking process and the temptation to add just a tiny bit of bungee gum to make the structure sturdy just proves too much.

'_No, _ I_ want my baby to be completely free of nen; I need real cards,'' _Hisoka's eyes slither towards the rest of his comrades. The unofficial Genei Ryodan bridge club sitting not too far away, still in the middle of an intense game, catches his attention. Or rather, it is the cards they are holding which greatly interest him.

It seems terribly convenient to simply snatch all the cards in their possession and return to his place, feigning ignorance. Hisoka could probably do it within a second. But the gang, being so passionate about the game, will definitely retaliate. '_Not exactly worth the trouble _' Hisoka reaches the same conclusion for the second time that hour.

The last time he had been invited to join any card game was ages ago, when the Cheat craze seized the Genei Ryodan by storm. Even Danchou participated occasionally, but having long mastered the art of keeping a poker face as most of the Spiders have (with the exception of Shalnark), he had lost interest quickly and returned to his reading his books.

Hisoka recalls his first game, but also his last, vividly. He had been squatting next to Machi throughout the game and also while Shalnark explained the rules in too much detail. Still, the round did not proceed smoothly because Hisoka almost always took too long to put down the cards and guffawed excessively during Shalnark's turns. Hisoka had felt that it would be extremely impolite to point out Shalnark's obvious lack of skills in concealing his intentions, and since Hisoka considers himself to be a gentleman especially to pretty ladies... and boys, he had settled for simply laughing at the boy. Much to the boy's annoyance.

When Hisoka had been down to his last cards, he remembers trying to spice up the dull game a little by attempting to shred Machi's clothes, test the durability of Shizuku's glasses, give Shalnark a new hair cut and lavish upon Franklin's gigantic earlobes some new piercings- all using his remaining cards.

That spelt the end of his dealings with the card game fanatics. What a pity, Hisoka really did enjoy perching beside Machi though all she had (and still continues to, whenever their eyes meet) given him were chilling, soul-numbling glares. Oh how he adores those frosty stares of his goddess, like icy daggers plunged deep into every single one of his pleasure points, giving him an adrenaline rush, directing his blood in a certain direction-

"Hisoka,"

Oh homoerotic crying chimera ants with elves and harp angels, frolicking in the sunshine-filled, blooming magical meadows, did his goddess just speak his name?

Hisoka turns away from his precious soon-to-be-triangle-baby and faces Machi, noting that the rest of the players have halted the game and are observing him with a hint of... smugness? He feels the tiniest breath of wind and reaches out barely in time to stop a deck of cards from crashing into his tower.

'We have been tolerating your negative vibes since a quarter of an hour ago and it feels insanely unhealthy to stare at that ridiculous pile of cards without blinking while touching yourself all over like what you have been doing, not that i'm concerned about your health,' Shalnark pauses for a quick breath.

'Hopefully, _that,' _Shalnark gestures towards the pack in Hisoka's left hand 'is what you seemed to be searching for. Take it as payment for our request that you stop giggling and making creepy noise for the rest of the day. Though we ought to have developed some kind of immunity by now, it is still highly distracting!'

Disappointed that the lenghty speech was delivered by Shalnark and not Machi, Hisoka returns to his task.

Only to discover that the new deck uses a very different design on the opposite face, an obvious clash in design with his previous deck.

Shalnark observes with satisfaction that his lucky guess appears to have satisfied the clown when he sees Hisoka's shoulders shake convulsively with silent mirth.

**~End~**

**A/N: **Hello guys! This marks the end of my 1st fanfic and reviews are really really appreciated, especially regarding my grammar (which i struggled quite abit with in the middle section) and my expressions.

Thanks for reading! =D


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